I hate those fucking teensex and Fred Durst tapes and pictures and porn and . . .

Blah. Fucking blah.

This makes me appreciate the illiterate people's blogs.

I think I'm just going to leave tBLOG. Later . . .

I feel cold-hearted today. Just . . . outright vicious. I want to hurt someone. I don't know why.

I think I'll go play with my dogs now.

. . . Yeahbye.

wea·ry adj.

1. Physically or mentally fatigued.


2. Expressive of or prompted by fatigue.


3. Having one's interest, forbearance, or indulgence worn out.


4. Causing fatigue; tiresome.

This blog has gone to hell. I don't know why I bother to post things in it. After all, it's what I post that has made it worthless.

Going now.

What's his name?  Aira (Michael)
How old is he?  16 (17 after 23 April)
When's his birthday?  23 April 1988
How long have you been together?  Since 21 March 2005 (13 days)
How did you meet?  Well, the first time we met, we nearly ran into each other in FUMC. The next was because of Meg, a couple years later.
Where was your first kiss?  In my bedroom, standing in front of my mirror.
What do you like about him?  Everything.
Is there anything you don't like about him?  There are things he does that annoy me, but I look over them.
If you were to give him an award for something what would it be?  Most intelligent
How tall is he?  I'd say about 5'10"
About how much does he weigh?  I'd say no more than 150 lbs.
What color is his hair?  Black, but naturally it's a really pretty brown tinted with red.
How long is his hair?  Shoulder length
What color are his eyes?  Gray/blue
Does he have any tattoos or piercings?  No, but he wants to pierce his ear.
What's the sweetest thing he's ever done for you?  He's done a number of sweet things.
Do you think your relationship will last forever?  Nothing lasts forever.
Have you talked about marriage/kids?  No.
Would/Do you live with him?  No, I don't, and I wouldn't right now.
Have you met his family?  Yes.
What is his family like?  They're rather nice, very welcoming.
Has he met your family?  Yes.
Does your family like him?  Yes.
What 5 words best describe him?  Quiet, Intelligent, Pretty ^^, Funny, Deep
What are atleast 3 of his favorite things?  Music, his knives, and art

Complete each statement
I love it when he:  kisses me. ^^
When we're apart I:  think about him quite a bit.
I can't stand the thought of:  someone/something hurting him, including himself.
I'm really hoping that:  he realizes how awesome he is.
I'd never:  lie to him.
With him I'm always:  smiling.
The greatest gift I've ever given him was:  . . . We've only been going out about two weeks. Give me some wiggle room, here.
The greatest gift he's ever given me was:  none of your business.
I'll never be able to forget the time:  we nearly ran into each other in FUMC.
I just want him to know: that I'm always here for him.

Fucking fuck! I hate you all -- Well, most of you . . .

*kills most of you*

Nyah! Now be mesmerized, bastards.

And now, know that the following reminds me of you . . . Good night.

Time: Look at the time just under the subject heading
Weather: Crystal clear . . . Like Aira's eyes. ^^  
Listening to: Green Day - "American Idiot"
Watching: When am I not watching?
Wearing: A black tshirt and a pair of jeans
Hair: Down
Make-up: None
Accessories: My blue ribbon anklet and Aira's amulet
Other: My fingernails are painted black.
Eating: Nothing
Last ate: A couple pancakes
Drinking: Tea
Last drank: Tea
Best part of the day: Remembering yesterday. ^^
Worst part of the day: There hasn't been anything really bad yet.
Feeling: A little sleepy. I've been sleeping too much lately anyway.
People signed on my buddy list: Joseph
People I'm talking to: No one
Last talked to: Dad
Last said: "Okay." 
The reply: There wasn't a reply.
What I'm doing: Filling this out, thinking,  listening to music . . . 
What I'm doing later: Going to visit Dick . .
What I'm doing tomorrow: Probably not much . . .   
Thinking about: Aira, Dick . . . Other things . . .

Smile! The world's not so bad . . . I just finished watching Spirited Away again. YAY! I love that movie.

Anyway, I have to do LOTS of homework before this Monday. Mr. Hand never fails to give lots of homework; yes, even over spring break. I have to define Economic terms that we have a test on Tuesday (bummer). Then I have some sociology homework due. Man, I hate homework.

Feather light fingers
Across softest skin
Scream, "Take me there and back again."
Raven hair against pale moonlight,
Always a most welcome sight.
Soft, moist lips across pale blue veins
And just not falling is something I can't feign.
Roll you over on your back,
Ready yourself for my attack.
Over your ear, run my lips,
And your fingers run across my hips . . .
Your eyes shine like summer sky.
And I still catch myself wondering why
Someone chose someone like me
To be with a windchild such as he.

I was playing with my camera and different photo effects . . . again.

So which is better?

She said, "I don't know if I've ever been good enough. I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in. And I don't know if I've ever been really loved by hand that's touched me. Well, I feel like something's gonna give, and I'm a little bit angry. Well, this ain't over. No, not here -- not while I still need you around. You don't owe me; we might change. Yeah, we just might feel good."

She said, "I don't know why you ever would lie to me -- like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt you. And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me -- you couldn't stand to be near me when my face don't seem to want to shine 'cause it's a little bit dirty. Well, don't just stand there. Say nice things to me. I've been cheated. I've been wronged. You, and you don't know me; I can't change. I won't do anything at all."

Wow . . . Whoever this song is about, I don't like her.

God, I look young in my pictures . . . And I think I need a new subject.

"I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of all I have created.
I'm longing to be lost in you,
Away from this place I have made.
Won't you take me away from me?"

Women are more complex down to the very genetic material of which we are composed. Is that not awesome? No wonder we're so fricking confused/confusing all the time . . .

Scientists only think they've cracked the code . . . Pah!

*sigh* Okay. I admit it . . . I can't sleep . . .

Oh, but I did finally finish that picture that I've wanted to finish so badly for the past week. It's pretty, I think. Right now it's my profile pic. I like it . . . I'll leave the link to see the full picture here, just for a little while . . . Just for you . . .

. . . Why are things that are forbidden always so tempting?

"Please help me 'cause I'm breaking down."

Miakoda . . . "Power of the Moon" . . . That's what one of my friends wanted to call me once. She said anything dealing with the moon reminded her of me. That was a while ago . . . I wonder if I still do remind her of the moon.

And I wonder why I ever did . . .

I love the moon though. I love night . . . The dark . . . The stars . . . And let there be wind . . .

I've had a picture in my head for a few days now. I want to draw it, but I'm afraid of messing it up. Oh, I want to draw it so badly though . . . I think I will soon . . . I think I will . . .

Leaving now . . .

Time: Look at the time just under the subject heading
Weather: I think it's clear outside. I can't really tell; it's dark. 
Listening to: Finger Eleven "Thousand Mile Wish"
Watching: When am I not watching?
Wearing: A blac k tshirt and a pair of jeans
Hair: Down
Make-up: Eyeliner
Accessories: My blue ribbon anklet, a silver bracelet, and a watch
Other: Just what is this eleventh finger, anyway?
Eating: Nothing
Last ate: Pasta that I made myself . . .
Drinking: Tea
Last drank: Tea
Best part of the day: Third Period
Worst part of the day: Home
Feeling: Anxious and irritated . . . and tired . . .
People signed on my buddy list: Joseph and Cristin
People I'm talking to: Joseph
Last talked to: Joseph
Last said: "Well, tell him to move in with Meag. A little gnat thingy just flew up my nose. Gross. Eurgh." 
The reply: "I won't tell her you said that. I'll tell her I said it. Sorry -- about the gnat."
What I'm doing: Filling this out, thinking,  listening to music, waiting . . . 
What I'm doing later: Taking a shower, studying for a gov't test, going to bed . .
What I'm doing tomorrow: Going to school . . .   
Thinking about: The same thing I'm usually thinking about these days . . . I limit myself.

[Edit] I made my blog so that you can see the last 50 entries if you so please . . . Going now . . . [/Edit]

Long, lost words whisper slowly to me.
Still can't find what keeps me here . . .
When all this time I've been so hollow inside.
I know you're still there
Watching me,
Wanting me,
I can feel you pull me down.
Fearing you,
Loving you,
I won't let you pull me down.
Hunting you,
I can smell you -- alive.
Your heart pounding in my head . . .
Watching me,
Wanting me,
I can feel you pull me down.
Saving me,
Raping me,
Watching me.
Watching me,
Wanting me,
I can feel you pull me down.
Fearing you,
Loving you,
I won't let you pull me down.

Yes, haunted . . . Haunted. Those eyes. They watched while I slept, and they weren't normal eyes . . . They were eyes that see everything.

Everything . . .

Aren't there times when you just want to claw your eyes out of your head?

^_^

I know how you feel.

I turn the little knob and music floods the room.

And all of a sudden I am happy.

HAPPY!